It's going on 7 months my husband and I have been separated, And In all that time God has never been more present in my life. I have always had a relationship with Jesus,but I guess I never really put God first. I wanted to honor my husband, and in doing so I thought I was honoring God. I wanted to love my husband with all my heart and in doing so I thought I was Loving God,but it took my husband leaving me for me to see that the whole time I was putting God on the back burner. I was serving God, but putting my husband first.
God himself spoke these words, Exodus 20:2 You shall have no other gods before me. God is a jealous God. Yes I was to love my husband and honor him, but I had it backwards.
I thought when my husband left I would break into a thousand pieces, yet every morning I woke up the Lord was with me, giving me peace. Psalms 30:4 Sing praise to the Lord, you saints of His, And give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name.For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.
I couldn't understand what good could come out of my divorce. I had tryed with my whole heart to make my marriage work, but it had failed, I had failed. I felt I had failed God. My covenant with him was broken. But God in His infinite wisdom took my brokenness and made me whole. Romans 8:28 For we know all things work together for good to those who love God,to those who are called according to his purpose.
God has renewed my spirit man, He has brought me into a new season. He has refreshed me. Psalms 34:8-10 Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!There is no want to those who fear Him.The young lions lack and suffer hunger; But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing.
The Lord has not only become my best friend whom I talk to thru out my day, He is my Father whom I can cry with and I know that he hurts with me, but He has also become my husband who provides for me and loves me. Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus. And let me say God is Rich!!! I have not wanted for anything since my husband left. Every bill has been paid and God has given me enough for my cup to run over. He is not a God of just enough, He is a God of More than enough.
I have always heard people say to guard your heart, And up until these last several months have I started to understand why. Proverbs 4:23 Above all else guard your heart, because from it flow the springs of life. Jesus said He came to give us life and life more abundantly. Our hearts belong to Jesus, For He is the life that beats in our hearts. I made the mistake and gave my heart to my husband when it rightfully belonged to Christ. When we honor Jesus, when we love him first, out of that love we have for him,and the love he gives us, We learn how to love others.It is only by loving God first can we truly know how to love others. For there is no greater love than the love of God our Father in Heaven.
I was not wrong for loving my husband, I was wrong for putting him before God. My husband was not going to stand beside me on judgement day and make excuses for me. I have an account all my own I have to answer for, before God. No one is going to get me to heaven but me, and what I do here on earth to make a difference for the Kingdom of Heaven.
God has brought me into a new place in my life, I read his word daily.I pray. I go to sleep talking to him and I wake up with joy in my heart. And sometimes in the middle of the night I awaken to him talking to me in my dreams. He has become first in my life, God has changed my Heart. Acts 3:19 Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presense of the Lord. Many people think that repent means to ask for forgiveness, the greek meaning for repent is Metanoeo, which means to change your mind. It means to change your mind about sin and turn to Christ. Decide to stop that sin and follow Jesus, and he will blott out your sins and refresh you. Who doesn't need refreshing? That is only one of many promises God gives us in His word. After all He is a God of Promises.
He has refreshed me, I changed my mind and made him first in my life and He is more than honoring his word, He is making me a new creation in him. I have looked my whole life for a man to love me, when the whole time my Father in Heaven waited for me to turn to him. And no man has ever loved me like God loves me!!! No man has ever compared to the love I'v felt from the Lord. What no man could ever fullfill in me, God did and is continully doing.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 To everything there is a season , A time for every purpose under Heaven.
God has a season for everything, and in that certain season, He has a purpose. His purpose was to show me how much he loved me and if I would only put him first, thru his love and grace I could love others.
I have learned to want His will in my life, for His will far exceeds mine. So now I anxiously await for him to bring me into His next purpose for my life and my next season. Thank you Jesus for loving me enough to teach me and to guide me closer to you.
Jesus loves you and has a purpose and a season set for your life,
Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you: seek and you will find: knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks recieves, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Our Father in Heaven is waiting on you. I ask YOU, what are you waiting on? He offers grace, forgiveness and hope and the promise of eternity in Heaven. And a Love Only God can give. No other love surpasses it.
I am a living testimony!
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